Happy hump day everyone! Is it me or does it seem like this week is flying by?
I woke up feeling very blessed today. Blessed to have an amazing husband that loves me more than words can describe, blessed to have a healthy daughter that makes my days as happy as they can be, and blessed for all the wonderful things that I have in my life.
On my way to work I started thinking about how after 10 years together, my husband and I manage to remain madly in love just as we were when we started dating. Even though we were teenagers back then (he was my high school sweetheart but that's a story that I will share another time) we knew what we wanted for our future and we fought hard until we reached our biggest dream -getting married-.
Some people argued that we were too young to know what we really wanted and that it might not last very long. But you know what? Our love was real and now, 10+ years later I can say that we made the best decision of our lives!
So what is it that keeps our love strong? I came up with 6 things that consistently make me fall for him over and over again. These are not new concepts by any means and you may have heard them before but sometimes we run on autopilot and we forget say or do certain things that make a marriage special. Every marriage is unique and you/your spouse might add or take out some of these, this is just what works for our marriage :)
1. It’s all in the little things
I absolutely LOVE surprises and he knows it. It doesn't matter if it is big or small, I think it's the thrill of not knowing -and trying to find out- that makes me giddy of excitement. Last week for example, he casually mentioned "you have a small surprise coming your way" and my heart immediately started pumping. It turned out that he ordered a box of specialty chocolates and got them delivered to my office = LOVE. It might not be a complete surprise since I already knew that it was coming but he loves seeing my excitement and I love trying to snoop and find out what it is. It's a win-win.
On the other side, he loves loves loves my desserts and baked goodies, specially if they involve chocolate :). So every now and then I make chocolate pudding for him or bake his favorite chocolate cupcakes which he claims to be a "personal dozen".
It doesn't have to be a big surprise but doing small things that make us smile can go a looong way.
2. Date your spouse
Sometimes life gets busy -especially if little ones are involved- and one of the first things that get neglected are date nights. I can attest to that; however, I still think it is very important that we take some time off our busy lives and go out to enjoy each other's company. In my case, I am extremely fortunate to have my mother in law living close by and she is happy to babysit for us whenever we want to go out on a date. I know this is not everyone's case though, and even when you do have someone who can babysit life can get busy and leave little room for regular date nights.
Whenever we are not able to go out on a regular date night we try to make up for it but having lunch together. For most of us, the kiddos are at school/daycare and you have an hour to spend with you better half. Again, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, it is just the joy of spending time together.
Another option is doing a middle-of-the-week dinner. It seems like the weekends have been very busy lately but we didn't want to skip our "couple time" so we came up with a middle of the week date. Again, something simple after work so we can spend some time together and have a drink or two (we do have to work the next day after all).
3. Spend quality time
Spending time together is nice, being next to each other feels awesome, but sometimes (and I am sometimes guilty of this) being together translates to me on the iPad next to him watching TV. Sometimes we do need to unwind and pinteresting (in my case) and football night (in his case) does wonders. However, talking about how our days went and making each other laugh at the silliest things is the perfect end to a busy day. It is also very important to make sure that you have enough intimate quality time, and that may vary from couple to couple but I'm not gonna go there ;).
The point is that spending time enjoying each other is very important in maintaining a healthy relationship. Even though we have been together for ten years, I feel like there is always something new that I learn about him. And at the end of the day by knowing what he likes I can make sure that I do what makes him happy.
4. Get pretty for him
And by getting pretty I don't mean full makeup and fancy clothes. I just make sure that I look and feel my best for him AND for me. Sure, after a full week of wearing business casual apparel the only thing I want to wear are a pair of yoga pants, a soft t-shirt, and my fuzzy slippers, but when I take an extra 5 minutes to brush my hair and put on cute but comfy clothes it makes me feel a thousand times better. Only had time for a pony tail? sure! but you can put on a pair of cute earrings. Don't feel like putting mascara on? that's fine too, but you can wear tinted lip balm...you get the idea.
Guys do notice when you do something, they might not be able to point what it is but they do notice and they sure like it.
5. Appreciate and Compliment
Who doesn't like like to feel appreciated? It feels great when take the time to do something for my hubby and responds with a "thank you baby, it means a lot me". It is not like I do things to get a thank you or a compliment but it definitely feels great when I for example bake something for him (see #1) and he not only eats it all but he says thank you so much baby, that hit the spot!!! It makes me want to do more stuff like that to make him happy. And just as I like to hear those things, I bet he does too. And that goes for special things that we do along with the everyday stuff like unloading the groceries from the car :)
The same goes for compliments. For example, we've been trying to be healthier lately. My hubby has been hitting the gym more regularly and I can tell that those guns are getting bigger, so I make sure to let him know that I'm happy he is doing that and that he looks really good. A compliment can go a long way in encouraging us to keep up the good work.
6. SAY I LOVE YOU
Last but definitely not least is saying I love you to each other. And by this I don't mean the "have a good day honey, I love you!", but rather looking in his eyes and saying I love you, and I'm glad I have you in my life". We need to remind each other of how much we mean to each other and that we try our best to keep our love as strong as it can be. You don't have to wait until you see each other at home, you can text him a couple of sentences telling him or her how happy he/she makes you, I'm sure it definitely will make him/her smile.
There you go, I hope these 6 things encourage you to think about what makes you marriage/relationship strong and do something that will make him/her smile (I am texting my husband "I love you with all my heart" as I am writing this :). These are not the only ones by any means but they do work for us, and I hope they work for you too!
Besitos,
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